Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Benjamin hits double digits!!!!

handsome boy... growing up

never too old to blow out a candle!

you had so much fun celebrating with a few of your friends... played football in the dark, had pizza and root beer then watched georgia tech beat clemson for the acc championship

Seems like just yesterday I gave birth to my firstborn and only son. The absolute joy that came into my heart on that special morning of November 29th at 6:59 am. I can't quite explain the pure love that entered my world... different than any experienced before. And I'll never forget hearing his precious cry seconds after he entered the world and the way that his crying ceased the very moment he heard Brian's voice. It was amazing! How thankful we were that morning to hold our precious little baby boy, beautiful and healthy in every way. "Benjamin" ... son of my right hand, a very strong biblical name, "David"... to share Brian's middle name, and also biblical - not a perfect man but a king that God used in mighty ways who wrote beautiful and heartfelt Psalms to the Lord.

I can't begin to believe that Benjamin is now 10 years old. How is it that the years pass so quickly yet sometimes the days seem so long and hard? I want so desperately to savor every moment with my children because I'm realizing more and more the days pass as quickly as vapors. Yet I often find myself caught up in simply surviving. As of late, the Lord has been speaking to my heart about what he has in store for me... and it's way more than surviving. He desires to fill my days with peace, joy, opportunities to shower his love on my husband, children, neighbors, friends and even total strangers. As the Lord is speaking to my heart, I'm realizing if all I'm doing is surviving then I'm not bringing Jesus the glory that's due him. I'm learning to be filled to overflowing with him so that everything I do, even the everyday, sometimes monotonous "duties" of motherhood, I do unto the Lord. And I'm so thankful that when I was given the distinct honor of becoming a mother 10 years ago, that God would continue to make me and mold me into his image. That he loves me so much that all these years later, he hasn't given up on me but continues to open my eyes to more of him.

And that is my very prayer as I celebrate with my precious boy on this, his 10th birthday... that I would always love him enough to continue to gently teach him, pray for him, nurture his relationship with Jesus, laugh with him, be silly with him, listen to him and be patient with him.

Benjamin you are a fine young man whom I am proud to call my son. You are intelligent and determined and extremely passionate. May the Lord teach you how to be passionate for him and his ways. You love to read... can get totally lost in a good mystery like the Hardy Boys. You are a great student and do very well in school. You enjoy sports of most any kind, and lately, it seems soccer is becoming your focus. You crave playing with boys since you're surrounded by all of us girls at home... you love being rough, playing with guns, tackling... all those "all boy" kinds of things. As each of us has things God is teaching us and cleaning up in us... you're learning what it means to prefer others over yourself, to choose kindness just to be kind (even when others may have been unkind), that admitting fault is not only what Jesus requires but that confession brings freedom. Son, I love you deeply, more than I can manage to communicate. And I am confident that the Lord has great things in store and that as you surrender every part of your heart and life to him that he will use you in amazingly mighty ways. I am eternally grateful that God chose me to be your mom.

No comments: